Connections

1. Remember that sports is about playing a game and having fun. When fun and enjoyment leave the experience, your child and other children lose.
2. Offer support for your child to learn to ride the ups and downs of sports with grace. Winning and losing can teach your child invaluable lessons when they reflect on what happened and it will help them to become strong and resilient.
3. Model clear boundaries and respect that your child’s sports experience is theirs—it is not about you! By not living through your child’s sports experience, you are giving them the space to learn and grow, free of baggage and issues that are not theirs.
4. Help your children to place sports in context for their healthy growth and development. Pursuing other priorities and interests (music, academics, theatre, art, friends, etc.) is part of growing up. It allows them to learn critical life skills for balancing competing time demands and stresses in ways that are healthy.
5. Keep the boundary clear between being a loving parent and a coach. While having reasonably high expectations and supporting your child to fully develop is a gift to young people, it is critical that they know that they are fully loved and accepted because of who they are as a child of God. Let them know that again and again and again . . .
6. Do not criticize your child’s teammates, coaches, opponents, or officials. This background violence in sports teaches the wrong lessons and creates a hostile sports environment that is a leading reason for why kids quit playing organized sports.
7. Consider how you can use your gifts and talents to support our Catholic mission and values in sports. Kindness toward all, forgiving others, and offering your encouragement are invaluable gifts that reinforce that how we treat people is more important than winning or losing any athletic contest.
8. Play sports with your child—catch a ball, go running, hit tennis balls, go biking. In addition to deepening your relationship with your child, it will remind you of the difficulty of perfecting sports skills—and you both will benefit from the exercise.
9. Enjoy the car ride home from sporting events while avoiding the trap of coaching or criticizing your child or others. While your child may vent as they sort out what happened, do not add your emotions and negative judgments to the situation. By listening to your child without judgment, you are providing a great gift and life lesson.
10. Celebrate what is good and right about your child’s sports experience. There are many positive opportunities for parents who are able to seek out the good while helping their child to find the good in every situation, thereby cultivating a spirit of gratitude.
    

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